Friday, November 30, 2007

My Teddy Bear, Mohammed

It is wholly ironic that people would take to the streets in violent demonstration over a teacher who allowed her students to name a teddy bear, Mohammed.

We know, of course, that this incident is possible, considering a teacher was imprisoned after being found guilty of "insulting religion," and thrown into a Sudanese slammer for fifteen days. Gillian Gibbons, who is a teacher from the United Kingdom, was in Sudan teaching when the incident arose. Since her conviction, people have taken to the streets in protest, even calling for her execution as an infidel.

It seems as if these people need to take a "chill pill" and relax. I do not believe Christians would get upset over a teddy bear named Jesus. This unfortunate incident goes to the heart of a bigger issue, I believe. In any faith, it should be seen as excessive to protect the image of a mere mortal. People have gotten away with much worse crimes when it comes to insulting a religion other than naming a harmless toy after a religious figure.

Moreover, shouldn't the children in the teacher's classroom be punished as well, since they are the ones who named the teddy bear? Perhaps, I shouldn't say that, because they might find themselves being punished much more harshly since they are "practicing" Muslims.

In the spirit of religious tolerance, I am going to name my teddy bear, "Mohammed." But don't get worked up over it. He is a harmless, non-practicing Jew.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Hillary Ad: "Strong"

Gay Students

I had several students inform me that two students at my school are gay.

It is none of their business--nor mine--but I had kind of figured that one out on my own. But what brought it into the consciousnesses of the other students is the fact they are now "going out." I think it is kind of funny, in a good way, of course, since everyone at my school is very much conservative when it comes to that subject. They are brave souls for being able to express their feelings openly. It is a feat I have yet to truly master.

Being the ever-watchful teacher, I have decided to make it my mission to make sure they don't get harassed as much as I possibly can. I have already put several people in their places over the situation. It is surprising to note that many students are supportive of their relationship. (I wish I had known that way back when.)

A Mother's Love

My mother can be rather uncouth when it comes to sharing her ideas and opinions.

Earlier today, my mom looked at me and said, "You are getting fat!"

Admittedly, I had been thinking about that for a few days, but I didn't expect to be hit on the head like a bag full of hammers by my mother who made this unsolicited comment. She seems to think my weight fluctuates with my mood. She is probably right. She insists that when I am happy I gain weight, which is odd, considering you would think depression would be the precursor to weight gain (or so I think). I am a freak in every definition of the word.

I think, perhaps, my happiness goes back to one, my Dwight.

(Note to self: I should lose weight immediately!)

Musharraf gets naked

Former General Pervez Musharraf has shed the skin of his former life, to wit: his military uniform, to be inaugurated into his third term as president of Pakistan.

It took him a few more days than he had previously pledged to return to civilian life before assuming the country's presidency.

In addition, Musharraf has declared he will end martial law and reinstate the constitution on December 16, which is ahead of parliamentary elections scheduled to be held in Pakistan.

"CNN/YouTube" Republican Debate

The winner of last night's CNN/YouTube Republican Debate was Hillary Clinton.

The greatest fear for any of those fine, white gentleman is the terror that consumes them wholly if they win the Republican Party nomination and have to face-off with Hillary Clinton. Her name was out of their mouths more than anything else (and in their political ads, too).

The night's biggest loser was poor old Ronald Reagan, who is dead and gone.

Republicans still cling to him, even though he is completely irrelevant to anything remotely recognizable when it comes to modern-day America, just like Republican Senator John McCain.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Obama: "I'm trying to be like Bill Clinton," please love me

Bill Clinton was heralded and detested for his confession of having used marijuana in his early life during the 1992 presidential election.

Senator Barack Obama has taken a page from Bill Clinton's book, seemingly, and admitted that as a "young man" he experimented with marijuana. In what must be an attempt to take one step beyond Clinton's confession, he admitted that he inhaled the marijuana smoke, which--according to Obama--"was the point" of smoking dope.

I'm not sure that admitting to smoking dope is the same as saving the rainforest, but I suppose it depends on your personal values.

When I'm Prime Minister

Nawaz Sharif, who was the former prime minister of Pakistan, has returned. He denied any claims that he has struck a deal with President Pervez Musharaff regarding his return, which comes approximately three years before his imposed ten year exile was scheduled to end.

His Saudi-government plane arrived in Lahore and was greeted by security guards and a mass of well-wishers. Sharif's goal is to participate in the upcoming parliamentary elections, which had been scheduled to take place in the next month or so.

Like Bhutto and Sharif, I hope to return from my self-imposed exile from Pakistan and stand for elections and become Pakistan's next prime minister. Of course, I am not from Pakistan, I have never been there, but after watching all the news coverage, it would make little difference. I could probably make the claim and show up at the airport and be greeted by masses of people who want to see me be prime minister yet again!

I love this country.

Media Release:

"After many years of self-imposed exile in the United States, former prime minister, Jackson Leslie, has decided to return to his beloved Pakistan, in spite of fears spurred on by the current government of Pakistan relating to his personal safety. Leslie describes his homecoming as 'bittersweet' and hopes that it will work to decrease tensions in the region. In time for the parliamentary elections, which have currently been suspended by President Pervez Musharraf, he hopes to stand for election and regain the prime ministerial position. Although, the exact time-table for Mr. Leslie's return is not certain, it is expected to occur in the next seven days, at the Lahore airport, and fall on the heels of the homecomings of Benazir Bhutto and Nawaz Sharif."

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Sharif will return to Pakistan...again

Former Pakistani prime minister, Nawaz Sharif, will make his second homecoming trip tomorrow.

During his first return trip to Pakistan, he was greeted at the airport by police who placed him on a return flight back to Saudi Arabia, where he has been in exile since 2000. Sharif, who was found guilty of tax evasion and treason, entered into an agreement of ten years of exile in Saudi Arabia.

Sharif's government was overthrown in a bloodless coup in 1999, which was led by current president of Pakistan, General Pervez Musharraf, who just won approval from the newly installed Pakistani supreme court in regards to his extra-constitutional third term as the country's president and de facto dictator.

The return of Nawaz Sharif will come on the heels of another ex-patriot and former prime minister, Benazir Bhutto, who also returned home to Pakistan from self-imposed exile in Dubai, last month. Since her return, she has been subjected to assassination attempts and home arrest. She hopes to stand for election in the forthcoming Pakistani parliamentary elections. Those elections, however, have been placed on hold since Musharraf imposed martial law and suspended the constitution. Musharraf has made bold plans for this weekend. Included in those plans are his pledge to resign as the chief of the army as he steps into his unprecedented third term as president.

Will Sharif actually make it out of the airport this time? Only time will tell. Maybe his flight will be early and Musharraf will be caught off-guard.

Australia's New Prime Minister

The Bush loving prime minister of Australia, John Howard, was forced to concede defeat to Kevin Rudd, of the Labor Party, after Saturday's national parliamentary elections.

Will the Queen, however, approve?

Oral Roberts University President says, "Buh-bye!"

Richard Roberts, the embattled Oral Roberts University president, tenured his resignation to the school's board of regents yesterday.

I am guessing that a back-room deal was hatched to spare him and his family any further investigation and/or prosecution in the matter, which saw multiple misuses of the university's monies. The board of regents may have promised him the presidency again in the future, once the black clouds of the current storm blow away into the sunset, of course.

Time for a deal with the devil

It is possible to convict someone of murder without an actual body, which has been pointed out by a prosecutor in Aruba, who is investigating the Natalie Holloway case. It is possible under English common law, as well, considering you have a mountain of forensic evidence, such as the murder weapon laced with the victim's blood and with the suspect's fingerprints all over it, a videotape showing the actual act, or a credible witness who can testify to such an act.

Even in Aruba, under liberal Dutch law, you cannot do it by pulling it out of your hat, like a rabbit.

The prosecutor's last-best-hope is that one of the suspects turns "state's evidence" against the other two, or at least one.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Holloway Reprisal

What have the prosecutors in Aruba cooked up this time to pin the "death" of American Natalie Holloway on three defendants?

Police have re-arrested the three individuals who were originally held on suspicion of her murder, but they were subsequently released. Of course, we have little knowledge of the evidence that is being presented to the judge in Aruba regarding this seeming cold case.

In an American court, the following evidence is true for any good defense attorney worth his $600/hour fee:

  • Natalie Holloway simply abandoned her life. She used her senior trip as a springboard into a new life. Perhaps, she now lives in Venezuela or Brazil. After all, there is no body to prove she is even dead. Furthermore, there is no physical evidence to support foul play on the part of the defendants which links them to the act that led to her alleged death.

But why?

  • Perhaps, there was sexual and mental abuse in Natalie's home in Alabama. She feared for her own safety, and in a last ditch effort she abandoned her home.

Even though, Aruba is a Dutch protectorate and litigates under Dutch laws, there is little reason to believe that such a defense would not work there as well.

My Trap

Every year I fall into the same trap, as a teacher. Each new year, I say, "Nope, not this year, I swear to God!" But guess what? It happened yet again.

It's not something that I plan. It's not something that I look forward to at all. They just sort of spring up out of the darkness, like a terminal disease, and then I'm doomed.

I always end up playing favorites among my students, and it makes my job much more difficult. I am usually a very serious person. There is always one student (or two in this case) who just takes up the cause of becoming "teacher's pet" in my classroom.

This is a subject that I never thought about when I was growing up. Of course, you always noticed there were certain students who got away with murder while others got the proverbial gas-chamber for something rather minor.

I never dreamed it would happen to me.

For some reason, they always rely on me a little too much, play my good graces like a professional pianist, and manipulate my ignorance like a convicted felon. In my mind, it is a dark art, because I do not realize what they have done until it is too late; it's like being painted into a corner and the paint dries much too slowly.

Normally, I am like a steel trap. It ruins things for me on a professional level when this happens. I hate to be harsh. And when you finally do get harsh, they always say, "You remember that time you didn't get mad when I did that." Then you sort of back off and they win again.

Luckily, I've never let things get as bad as my first year as a teacher. I had a student who liked to be the boss. He reminded me a lot of myself at that age. I was his "get out of jail free card" for everything grizzly and horrific. When he crossed the line with another teacher or fellow student, he came running to me hoping that I'd bail him out. Being a schmuck, I did.

The other students absolutely abhorred him. They always called him "teacher's pet." I can already see it happening all over again, to a certain degree. They don't seem to mind the seeming stigma of being labeled as a teacher's pet. There must be a deterrent for this type of behavior. The best idea would be to find it before the behavior begins.

I suppose I really must think of a plan to handle this situation! I admit, however, it is not likely to occur.

Is anyone listening?

Fred Thompson attacked Rudy Giuliani's stance on gun control, especially during his tenure as mayor New York City.

I want to know if anyone is listening to Fred Thompson anymore?

The Sharks' Lair

Even though, I thought I had better common sense, I was talked into going out on the busiest shopping day of the year. In a first, I was taken to the last remaining bastion of purely, unadulterated capitalism, Wal-Mart.

Dwight thought it would be fun to see me have a panic attack, apparently. The people were shoulder to shoulder as they moved forward at a snail's crawl. People were everywhere, but mostly they were in my way as I clawed my way past them.

In a strange sense, it was kind of fun to see what lengths people will go to save a buck. In the parking lot, Dwight taught me how to do the Soulja Boy dance. Who knew all the things you can learn on a day of shopping at Wal-Mart?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Hillary Ad: "The Machine"

Clinton/Obama

Senator Barack Obama has picked up some steam for his presidential campaign in the states of Iowa and New Hampshire. Also, there are a lot of political attacks from the Clinton and Obama campaigns, against each other.

Here's how I see it:

Although, Obama is a lovable person (seemingly), he is not going to connect with many American voters. I hate to say it, but most of those will be in the South. Although, it may sound incredibly racist to concede this point; however, I have been a firm believer--for many, many years--that America will have to accept a white woman as president before a black man can make it. (By the way, that is not my personal opinion of how things are, but rather it is the reality of our country, and I am a pragmatist when the situation warrants.)

Obama accuses Clinton of playing the gender card, but will he play the race card?

At this critical juncture of the impending primary season, if Clinton and Obama do not find a way to settle their differences and focus their campaigns on the issues that Americans want to hear, then they are going to somehow get overtaken by John Edwards in the polls. The voters will concede, "Oh! There is a white-Democrat-man running for president, after all."

I see Edwards standing in the wings grinning as he--and America--watch Clinton and Obama beat each other over the head to be firsts in their respective categories.

It's time to be the bigger person, and step up to the plate.

D & Me

So, I just had a very weird conversation with my mother about boys.

After my fitful experience a couple of weekends ago, I discovered a new guy, named Dwight.

He is the sweetest thing I have known in a long time. Yes, he is as young as a summertime wine, but he is more mature than me in many ways. (In other words, age is overrated, even if I do like them while they can still locate their high school diplomas.)

Now, back to mother.

Mom asked me, "Do you like boys?"

With my mouth agape, I said, "Why do you ask that?"

"Well, I saw you and that new guy at a shop." (FYI: I didn't see mom there, so I was oblivious.)

I stalled, "So?"

"Usually having your hand on a guy's butt means that you're more than poker buddies."

I almost fainted, but I kept my chin held high, almost certain of the wrath that was about to ensue; however, I was surprised.

"He's the prettiest boy I've seen you with," she went on. "He seems to be a very nice guy."

I am still stunned by this most awkward mom-son conversation!

She is inclined to have him over for Thanksgiving dinner. (YIKES!)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Stem Cells

The New York Times reports that scientists have unlocked the key to harvesting "stem cells" without destroying human embryos. The process utilizes skin cells, which are reprogrammed by introducing four genes to the genetic code of the skin cell, which renders it a blank slate; thereby, a stem cell.

I hope this pleases ignorant Republicans, even though they might argue that human skin objects to being violated by the donation of a few cells.

This method promises to broaden science toward the search for cures of diseases that have plagued humanity since the beginning of time. It is shameful that almost eight years have been lost due to ignorance among people, like George W. Bush, who see the use of human embryos as murder.

Consider the possibilities of cures and treatments that could have been adapted and identified over this course of lost time. It is just too staggering to fathom!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Ditch Mitch

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is up for re-election in 2008. Many pundits believe that he is unstoppable, even though he has been a firm supporter of George W. Bush over the past six years, which has won him no accolades of late.

In 2002, when McConnell ran for re-election against Lois Combs Weinberg (D), he was in a different political climate. The United States was fighting against the war on terror, Republicans were the good guys, and many Americans were still flying the American flag from 9/11, which was not even a year old.

Since then there has been a drastic change in the political landscape in Kentucky. McConnell, who campaigned hard for fellow Republican U.S. Representative Ernie Fletcher to successfully win the gubernatorial race in 2003, found out that his powers of influence have been blunted more than a bit. This realization came during the most recent gubernatorial race, which saw Ernie Fletcher lose his bid for re-election, even with old Uncle Mitch's dirty money and support.

Although, a Democratic challenger has yet to emerge, McConnell has already begun to release some of his $9 million war chest for political advertisements on television across the state. It is hard to believe that someone who has so much power and influence in Kentucky and Washington would be so hard pressed to begin airing political advertisements against a non-existent challenger.

It is safe to bet, however, that McConnell understands his bid for re-election in 2008, with a Democrat slated to win the White House, will be an uphill battle. Although, I accept the inevitability that he will probably win his campaign, considering he will muster all of his unholy powers to save himself, unlike his good pal, Ernie.

Hillary Ad: "Joe Ward"

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Hillary's got appeal

After watching the Las Vegas Democratic debate on Thursday night, I was greatly appreciative of the amount of support the audience gave Senator Clinton.

I couldn't help but smile when Barack Obama and John Edwards were booed and heckled by the audience when they questioned the policies of Senator Clinton.

I believe it translates into one simple premise, which is: American voters are not interested in hearing scare tactics, personal attacks or mud-slinging, which is exactly the basis for the campaigns of Obama and Edwards. They fear Hillary and it shows deeply in their rhetoric.

Instead, let's hear some poignant debate over national issues.

People are not interested in the trivial issues. I want to know that the candidate has the ability to lead the nation onto a starkly different road after eight years of failed Bush policies and political blunders.

Can Hillary do it?

Hell yeah!

Make-Believe Justice

A Saudi court condemned the victim of a gang rape to six months in prison and ninety lashes (originally it was six months in prison and 200 lashes). The rapists won an appeal, which came with a sentence of ten months to five years in prison.

The rape victim's attorney stated that under fatwa, or laws based on the Qu'ran, the rapists should have received a death sentence.

I have no respect for a country's laws, which come with a footnote attached citing a religious text as its authority.

It's despicable and unfathomable in a modern world.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Snow

It snowed today; well, sort of.

I do love the snow! So I hope it comes back soon with vengeance.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Red State Update: "Wax Museum of Failure"

This video for the YouTube Republican Debate is too funny. I love the "wax museum of failure" line. That is just too much!

Red State Update: It's basic Reaganomics!

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most like Reagan of us all?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Obama Fire?

The media seems to think Barack Obama has the energy now to take on Hillary Clinton for the Democratic Party nomination.

Psht! Whatever.

Preserve & Protect

A federal judge has ordered that White House staff must preserve and protect all electronic mail (e-mail) that orginate from or are received by the White House.

Despite the fact that the Federal Records Act prohibits the destruction of government documents, which are federal property, including e-mails, the White House has come up short in accounting for five million e-mail messages. (That's a lot of poor records keeping! Perhaps, Bush borrowed the Enron shredders.)

This judicial order stems from two lawsuits currently before the courts regarding the destruction, or mishandling, of the infamously misplaced e-mails.

"Apologize"

A friend told me that the song "Apologize," by OneRepublic, was written just for me by a former boyfriend. Apparently, I am a sadistic force in the lives of those around me. I admit that I am toxic in a relationship. I start off strong, but then it just falls apart. I am a very loving, giving individual, in the beginning. Sometimes those around me try too hard to please, which I can find as a turn-off, but at the same time erotic. I suppose I am one of those guys who gets bored in a relationship and moves on after a while. Maybe that is my curse. Also, the same friend tells me that I should try dating older guys, instead of the young ones I love so much. I appreciate their unpredictability and youthfulness. I'll always have a younger man at my side. I'll be 86 with a 22-year-old beautiful boy on my arm. Who cares if it is strictly a financial arrangement? That's okay with me. What marriage isn't, after all? I'll leave everything to my little gold digger! He'll have earned it.

(And, yes, I do apologize a lot!)

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothing new,
I loved you with a fire red
Now it's turning blue, and you say
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground

Veterans Day

When I think of soldiers risking their lives on the battlefield for a failed international policy (i.e., George W. Bush), I seldom envision a soldier who is young.

Today, at my school, I hosted a soldier, from the National Guard, who spoke to various social studies classes about Veterans Day. What struck me most was that someone who is supposed to be tough has braces on his teeth. I couldn't help but laugh a little to myself about it, but he was cute anyhow.

I wonder if he spent a year in Iraq with braces? (That's the one question that I never asked him, but I really wanted to ask.)

What also struck me was how upbeat he was about the Bush policies relating to Iraq. He refused to accept that Iraq is a nation in chaos. Instead, he stated that the media sensationalizes the things that happen there. (Of that I have no doubt.) He said that he believed that many things, from his perspective, are going quite well with the war. (It's hard to debate someone without firsthand knowledge, but that didn't stop me).

Energy Future

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Twist

This evening I spent in a rather peculiar manner.

I got into my car and just started to drive. While I was driving, I ended up at some interesting places (or so I think). It is amazing what unfettered melancholy will do to an individual. The air was so cold, but I drove with all the windows down. I felt as if my whole body was numb from the dark, icy air that moved around me, but it made me feel strangely warm on the inside. I smiled, as if what I was doing was naughty.

I found myself at the bank, firstly. I parked in the private, covered garage. It was so eerie. I had never been there so late while being alone. The somber lighting created strange shadows along the walls and floor as I walked. I took the elevator to the third floor where the board room is located. I sat in the darkness with only the light from the hallway permeating through the ajar doors. I found myself in tears. I cried so hard. Then I noticed the portraits that hang around the room's perimeter. They were strangely watching me, I could feel them. Many of their eyes reminded me of my own.

I still don't know why I was there. I just was.

The next place is the strangest of all. I left the bank and headed out of the city. I found myself driving on a narrow road that leads through low rolling hills which are only a mile--or so--from the Ohio River. Setting on a secluded hill rose the marble mausoleum that houses so many of my family's dearly departed. It was flanked by an incandescent orange glow that hung heavy in the cold night. It was almost as if I were looking through the eyes of ghosts as I neared. I'm not sure if I felt a cold chill rise along my spine, considering a cold wind was whipping around my body through the open windows of my car. Knowing where the key is hidden, I easily opened the tall vault-like doors and peered inside. I turned on the overhead lights and noticed the final resting places of my dead family members, which line the walls behind sealed concrete and capped with marble. I sat calmly on the large bench that stands in the middle of the room.

I asked them audibly if they were proud of what I had become. Of course, the dead are great listeners, but seldom offer tangible advice. They never interrupt, however, which I appreciate. I wanted to know if I was a product of their collective genetic flaws, or should I look somewhere else for my unhappiness. I stayed there for who knows how long. It seemed quite peaceful, though--almost like Romeo and Juliet. I was surrounded, after all, by the bones of my kin.

(I hope I locked the doors when I left. I hate to think any of them got carried away in the night.)

Next, I drove toward the city. I found myself driving slowly down a familiar street, which took me past my parents' house. It sat eerily dark in the distant shadows. I know they were home, or so I think. I quickly saw the lake's surface shimmering in the lights that dot the property. I almost decided to drive to it, but I decided against it, as the gate would alert them someone was on the property. I'm not convinced that my emotional situation stems from those bones in the graveyard or from the warm bodies behind those high walls.

My parents never taught me how to love. They taught me dependence, instead; I think. I depend on them far too much. In many ways, I am still a small boy, who calls out to his mother in any harrowing situation. My father is a man whose real family is his work. He never took me to do the things that a father does with his sons. He never taught me to play catch (not that I like sports). He never taught me how to drive even. My mother compensated for it, I believe, in her own way. She dotes on me, and my brothers, but mostly me. I was my mom's confidante, and I still am, as I grew up. She tells me things she would never tell another living soul. I got everything I could ever want, except my father's deepest approval, from her. I guess moms can't do everything. Even though, my parents have been married for over thirty years, I am not sure I was taught the lessons which lead to a meaningful, healthy relationship.

Finally, I returned home. How do I feel now?

Surprisingly, I feel quite better--almost at ease. My stomach is calm. My mind is at peace. All-in-all, I think it was a very sobering drive. (I should do it more often.)

My Depression

It has become blatantly clear to me, in recent days, how unfulfilled my life has become. It starts as an ache in the pit of my stomach and works its way throughout my body. It is a numbness, a terminal disease that consumes me completely. My mind feels as if it is on fire, but I am so far detached I barely notice it, yet it obsesses me.

I just sent an e-mail to someone from my past lamenting on the fact of how little meaning my life has. I see people with families of their own, but not me. To an outsider, I have everything a person could possibly want. It is merely material wealth, however. They are the "toys" that I buy to dull the pain that ebbs and flows inside of me. On the inside, I am a ticking time bomb that is waiting to explode, but hopefully not loudly enough for another living soul to notice.

I get this way occasionally. I sob and quietly complain, then it sort of goes into remission. I see all the potential I have, and it only makes the weight in my soul that much heavier to bear. The category of love has always eluded me the most. I want a home that I share with someone who I love. That single person who completes me somehow. Instead, I come home to emptiness and shadows. I live pretty much the way you might expect a monk in a monastery to live.

I am a nun who gets none. It is chronic.

Even now, it consumes me, eating away at my insides. My tears flow freely now, as I think of the failures of my past. You would think that something like love is free and plentiful, but for me it is meager and elusive. I fear one day that I will find myself completely alone and isolated from the rest of the world. I will be an old man who never found the true meaning of life. I will have sailed aimlessly through the void and crashed into the rocks hidden barely beneath the surface. I will have sank and drowned, and no will have been there to save me, or even notice I am gone.

I envy those people who have found love. Honestly, I deplore them. I tighten my jaw and feel the blood rising in my neck. It keeps getting hotter and hotter until I am left breathless in fury and self-loathing. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, but I contain myself.

What has brought about this level of depression and malevolence?

Recently, I have been reading these fantasy romance books. Yeah, it sounds corny, but I enjoy them, even if they leave me in a saddened stupor. Some people have so much love they find it hard to utilize. They are bombarded with warm hands and eyes that look at only them. I haven't seen those eyes or felt those hands in so many years now. I always force myself into a false sense of belief that those feelings are not for me. There is still a part of me--a large part--that yearns for a carnal dose of humanity.

Even now, I feel cold chills run along my spin. I go back into my mind and realize that there is only silence in this house. I am its only occupant, a prisoner of circumstance. They say there is someone for everyone. I haven't found that person yet. Perhaps, I am special. Maybe those other people simply settled for someone who isn't their special someone. I am looking, but not really holding out much hope for him.

Mostly I am stoic, but today I am cynical; it hurts.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Bhutto detained, then released

Former prime minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto, was detained at her home in Islambad, after the government decided she had no business attending a demonstration.

Bhutto attempted to pursuade the soldiers guarding her to give her free pass from her home, but they refused her request. Washington called on General Musharraf to grant Bhutto release from house arrest, which included other members of her Pakistan People's Party (PPP).

After a day long showdown, Bhutto was finally permitted to leave her home.

Since the institution of martial law, Bhutto has been permitted to only meet with selected members of the PPP at her home.

Mukasey sworn

Former federal judge, Michael Mukasey, became the eighty-first attorney-general of the United States today, after winning confirmation from the United States Senate only hours earlier.

How long until Bush retires? Just a bit over a year! Ugh!

"Twilight"

A few years back, I wrote a poem called, "Twilight Asunder." Little did I realize that this poem would be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy for me.

You see, I fell in love with a vampire. Yes, it's true.

Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer, is a book based on the love of a vampire by a teenage girl. It's not the typical Brom Stoker Dracula imagery that many times the word "vampire" conjures up in our over-active imaginations.

Edward, the vampire, is a person perpetually stuck at the age of 17 (you'll have to read the book to find out why). Edward is a perfect, yet flawed, individual. He is stunning physically, while he is tender, aloof and charismatic emotionally. (He knocks your socks off while making your knees buckle, but don't worry, he'll catch you in his strong arms.)

What are vampires, anyhow, but symbolism for gay men who repress their sexuality, but it only comes out more pronounced, as a result, it drives straight women wild?

That's who Edward is.

Poor Edward has spent most of the twentieth century looking for his "soulmate." He spends his time "looking" and "experimenting" with the idea of heterosexual love, but it is seemingly unsuccessful. It doesn't fulfill him. As a result, he has spent most of his "life" looking in the wrong place for that special person who will complete him.

Bella, the girl, is deeply in love with Edward. She has never seen anyone quite like him in her life, or her dreams. He makes her heart stop, while causing her body temperature to rise to a sexual crescendo that is brought to a screeching halt because he just can't seem to make it past first base, even though he really wants to make it (yeah, right!). I have to admit that he brought my heart to a stop on several occasions, simply by reading the book.

Her lust for him is haphazard, but real; however, I am not sure it can ever be returned to her in the way she wants or needs.

Although, he cares for her on a very deep level, his inability to satisfy her "human" needs is telling. He protects her and spends every waking hour with her. He is Bella's confidante, simply. (That sounds familiar.) He is the perfect man, in other words. (How many times have I heard that from the ladies? Oh, about a hundred times. Mostly straight women do not get the fact that gay men are their best friends, but they want that sexual element, also, which will rarely happen.)

Edward is a painful creature. He is everything I could ever want in a "mate." He is beautiful, attentive, courageous, sensual and a very good dresser. (Did I mention he's beautiful?) His aloof mannerisms are the fabric from which my very core is woven. There were parts where I had goose-flesh, because I saw myself in Bella's place (I enjoy living vicariously).

Last night, instead of being afraid of vampires, I wished secretly that one, like Edward, would come take me away. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the night. I have found a new understanding of the meaning of "twilight" time. It has a sexual connotation that is beyond the sins of the flesh. It is the place where Edward and his kind live perpetually.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

AP: Kentucky Governor loses bid for second term

From The Associated Press

"Kentucky Gov. Ernie Fletcher, a Republican whose lone term was dogged by a hiring scandal, lost badly Tuesday despite an election-eve effort to woo conservative voters by displaying the Ten Commandments in the state Capitol.

"Democratic challenger Steve Beshear, a former attorney general and lieutenant governor, pulled off a political comeback 20 years after last holding office.

"With 71 percent of precincts reporting, Beshear had 431,566 votes, or 60 percent, to Fletcher's 285,297 votes, or 40 percent.

"Beshear reminded voters at every opportunity of accusations that Fletcher directed the hiring of political allies for jobs protected by the state's merit system.

"He also made religion a centerpiece of his campaign, citing his religious upbringing and running television ads showing him in front of a church in western Kentucky.

"On Monday, Fletcher ordered that the Ten Commandments be displayed alongside other historical documents in the state Capitol, after a federal judge ruled that a previous injunction in a separate court case did not apply to the display.

"Fletcher, the state's first GOP governor in more than 30 years, was indicted on misdemeanor charges that were later dismissed in a negotiated deal after a judge said he could not be tried in office. But the grand jury later issued its findings, saying Fletcher had approved a "widespread and coordinated plan" to skirt state hiring laws."

Other Kentucky Elections

It would seem that the Kentucky electorate is splitting a bit between the political parties. Although, Democrats have won most state offices, there are two that remain in Republican hands. Those are the offices of Secretary of State and Commissioner of Agriculture.

The one I want to comment on most is the office of Commissioner of Agriculture. Currently, this office is held by Richie Farmer. Farmer's singular claim to fame is that once upon a time he was a star player for the University of Kentucky's basketball program.

That's a great qualification, right?

Apparently, that is enough to get you a state office. I wonder if they would even be willing to look at his real qualifications? Luckily this office is minimal; otherwise, I'd be really upset about it.
_________________________________________________

Governor's Race:

With all of Kentucky's 120 counties' precincts reporting, except forty of them, Beshear's victory is at 60%.

Kentucky Governor's Race: Update

With 68% of the precincts reporting, Beshear is still ahead by about 24-points (62%-38%).

Fletcher is being obstinate.

Kentucky Governor's Race

With all of the state's precincts now closed, and over 33% of them having reported their results, Democratic challenger, Steve Beshear, has over 62% of the vote.

This is coming primarily out of eastern and central Kentucky, since the western part of the state, located in Central Standard Time, has only recently closed. Of course, this part of the state is heavily Democratic.

Governor Fletcher may wait until fifty-percent of the vote is reported before he gives his concession speech.

It is a good day!

Mukasey is carbon copy of Gonzales

Nominee for attorney general, Michael Mukasey, is a carbon copy of former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

Mukasey is simply going forward with the work that Gonzales started, under the tutelage of George W. Bush. In all honesty, if Bush was going to find a clone of his former attorney general, then why push for his resignation?

As always, Bush thinks that Americans are pretty dumb when it comes to politics. He believes that he can simply change the mask on his policies and no one will be wiser as to what he has done.

Think again!

In another disgusting move, it appears as if the Senate Judiciary Committee is going to send Mukasey's nomination to the floor of the Senate for a vote. I have no idea why Democrats on the Judiciary Committee would vote for Mukasey. I believe the majority of Americans, in 2006, voted to send Democrats to Congress in hopes that they would act as Bush's Dr. Jekyll, or alter-ego. Instead, like the Republican-majority before them, they seem to piss themselves when he calls for their support.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Election Eve

Tomorrow, Kentucky will elect new leadership. It will remove the shackles which have limited progressive growth of businesses and turned back the clock on many social issues.

Despite Ernie Fletcher's hate for casino gambling and abhorrence of homosexuals, he will not succeed in receiving a second term as governor from the voters of Kentucky. Finally, Frankfort will be purged of the monstrous Mitch McConnell political machine. It will be like the air after a brief, hard summertime thunderstorm; it'll be sweet, calm, and peaceful.

As I write this blog, I am preparing to fly, with other members of my family, to Southeastern Kentucky, where we will campaign in the heavily Republican area for Democrats. Southeastern Kentucky holds a rather special place in our hearts, as it is our home, and the people their have a special place in their hearts, too, for my family. Republicans overwhelmingly voted to send my grandfather, who was a Democrat, to the Governor's Mansion. We hope that they will elect another Democrat to do the same important work my grandfather did.

Bush: "It ain't easy"

Pervez Musharraf has created a bit of a dilemma for the Bush administration. It has even forced George W. Bush to deliver a rather strongly worded statement, which colloquially including the word "ain't."

The Bush administration is pushing for Musharraf to "take off his [military] uniform." Also, they believe that the elections scheduled for January 2008 must continue as schedule, or suffer irrevocable harm.

On this single issue--and this issue only--I find myself agreeing with George W. Bush.

I understand that General Pervez Musharraf is a third rate hack with a pretty good gig, and he doesn't want to give it up so easily. He is afraid of what the Supreme Court of Pakistan is/was going to say about his re-election to a third term, which flies in the face of the nation's constitution.

What is the breaking point of this tentative situation?

Instead of creating a permanency for his position, he will, instead, alienate Pakistan from the British Commonwealth to a greater degree. The United States, also, is working on limiting the amount of aid it sends to the country. He will create fear and animosity among Pakistan's citizens toward their government. They must now decide whether to fight for the rule of law or unconditionally accept a dictator's tantrum, which selfishly impedes their liberties and rights. Perhaps, General Musharraf should do what is best for his country. He should let the country return to civil rule. True democracy is the ability to accept failure and rejection from the people who you serve, as well as their love and admiration. Democracy isn't about winning an election and then setting yourself up for indefinite rule. Even George W. Bush must accept the finite solvency of his term as president.

The moral of this lesson is one person cannot supersede the will of the people, or the constitution; it just "ain't" right.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

A young 'Tammy Faye'

Police in Galveston, Texas, have release a composite rendering of a young girl who was found abandoned in a Sterilite storage container on a small, isolated island in the Gulf of Mexico, along Texas' coast.

Sure, a child was left dead--or to die--in this container, but the artist's rendering is superfluous, at best.

The child I see in this composite sketch is someone who is about to be fitted for a mask for an on-set take in The Planet of the Apes, or a very young child who has undergone extensively botched plastic surgery and now uses copious amounts of supermarket make-up, like Maybelline, to hide the shame.

It is almost as if the artist were going for a caricature, rather than a likeness. It makes her look monstrous. They should have done better!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Bhutto publicly disagrees with Musharraf

In an attempt to shore up his power, Pervez Musharraf allowed former prime minister of Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto, who is the leader of the country's largest political bloc, the Pakistan People's Party (PPP), to return to her home in Pakistan last month, from self-imposed exile in Dubai.

It would seem that his initial plan has gone a bit south, since its conception and implementation.

The political atmosphere in Pakistan has become more turbulent in recent months. Musharraf's position, as president, has become more precarious, with opposition to his election to a third term last month by the nation's supreme court, considering it is unconstitutional.

Perhaps, Musharraf saw the return of Bhutto to Pakistani politics as his redemption for a coup in 1999, and his choice to ignore the constitution now. In doing so, he believes that the PPP will return the favor--quid pro quo--by not opposing his third term as president, in the nation's parliament, through a twelfth-hour power sharing agreement.

As always, his Achilles-heel has been the Supreme Court of Pakistan, led by Chief Justice Iftikhar Mohammed Chaudhry. Chaudhry is determined to see that Musharraf does not succeed in his efforts to side-step the constitution.

By declaring martial law, however, General Musharraf has suspended the constitution and given himself unprecedented authority to quell alleged unrest--by all means he deems necessary--which has spread throughout the country, which includes surrounding the homes of the supreme court's judges with military troops.

Bhutto, who is up for a third term as prime minister, in January's elections, stated Pakistan is "going to dictatorship once again." Further, she stated, "His actions Saturday were likely out of fear that Pakistan's Supreme Court might dissolve his victory in the October presidential election."

A man who has his finger on the proverbial button does not require much input from any court. As long as the military acquiesces to his self-importance, then his position is seemingly secure.

My Genes

Since I grew up I've heard myself compared to someone in my genetic pool more than anyone else. That person being my great-grandfather, who died forty-eight years ago. Today, I had my suspicion reaffirmed by my uncle. It is something that I don't really understand, since I never met the man, but those people who are much older than me really seem to appreciate.

My family owns a rather large farm in central Kentucky. I like to spend a lot of time there. It is quiet and isolated, like me. One summer evening, at dusk, with its long shadows, I was out by my lonesome walking the grounds, when I saw a person in the distance, but I didn't really pay attention to him at first, until I noticed he was simply standing there staring in my direction.

Finally, when I made it to the man, he simply seemed at a loss for words. I asked him what he was doing. He simply blurted out, "I thought you were Doc." This older man has worked for my family for decades in various positions around the farm. Initially, he was concerned that he had seen a ghost from his past, but it turned out just to be me. He went on to tell me how my great-grandfather was a burly man, who towered over those around him, and commanded their attention simply through his presence. He went further to tell me that as a little boy, he remembered seeing him and wondering how a man could be so large. And for a moment, he was that little boy again, as he watched me approach.

Of course, this made me feel self-conscious about myself (and it still does).

This kind of talk comes up at family events, too, from my cousins mostly, who haven't seen me in years (or perhaps they are meeting me for the first time). It is hard to believe that a person, who only received 1/8 of his DNA from an individual from his past, can bear such a striking similarity to that person.

I believe, however, it must be true. My father and uncle are not like me in body. My father is a tall man, but not physically large by any means. My mother's family certainly is not like me physically. My brothers are tall, like me, but they are anorexic skinny (which I envy).

Therefore, my hat is off to a man who I never met, but whom I shall forever bear a resemblance.

Pakistan

After declaring martial law, Pakistani dictator, Pervez Musharraf, has explained his actions to his country and the world.

According to Musharraf, Pakistan is at a "critical and dangerous juncture." He went further to state that he is working to settle unrest within the country in attempts to protect the nation's infrastructure.

The chief justice of the Supreme Court of Pakistan, Iftikhar Mohammed Chaudhry, who has been at odds with Musharraf in the past, stated that the declaration of martial law by the president was extra-constitutional. In accordance with this statement, Musharraf sent troops to the chief justice's office to relieve him of his position.

Troops were also sent to other members of the supreme court's homes, but it is not known if they were arrested or simply impeded from carrying out any official government functions.

Secretary of State Condi Rice, who is in Turkey, even went as far as to bemoan the move by Musharraf. (I thought she might feel as if it was a good thing, considering her track record for despots utilizing unconstitutional powers.) She went further to say that Pakistan must keep its commitment to free and open parliamentary elections in January.

In the final assessment, who knows what will come of Pakistan or General Pervez Musharraf, who has been president since 1999, after taking power in a bloodless coup d'etat.

Maybe Benazir Bhutto has some answers for us...if she is still alive.

Diet Pepsi Jazz

There is a concoction that once only witches, from our most despicable nightmares, could brew in their cauldrons from hell, but now Pepsi has been able to simulate that same taste in its Jazz line of colas.

Thinking it sounded very good and refreshing, I had a nice gulp of Diet Pepsi Jazz Strawberries & Cream. Let me tell you, I find it almost incomprehensible that someone was able to swallow that swill and follow it with a yummy-for-my-tummy pat on their stomach. It is seemingly impossible.

I have had medications, including Robitussin, which have been less offensive to my palate!

I'm not sure what octane rating it has, but I believe it could be used as an alternative fuel source, or possibly it could be used to kill rats in your basement. Sufficed to say, I will not be drinking anymore Diet Pepsi Jazz products.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Kentucky the next San Francisco?

I just had a "conversation" with Pat Boone about the Kentucky governor's election, which is coming up next Tuesday.

He said that Steve Beshear (D) is endorsed by gay rights activist groups. Well, that is a good thing.

In a rather bizarre and far-fetched comment, if elected, Beshear will make Kentucky the next San Francisco, according to Boone.

That is just silly and ignorant!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Bush's temper-tantrum

George W. Bush announced that if the Senate Judiciary Committee blocked the vote of his nominee for attorney-general, Michael Mukasey, then the Justice Department might go forward without a leader.

He blames this fact on Democrats.

King George sounds like a spoiled brat trying to get his way, after his parents said, "No!" Bush could simply wait until the next Senate recess and appoint his own attorney-general, who would serve until the end of his presidency, which can't come a day too soon!