"Twilight"

A few years back, I wrote a poem called, "Twilight Asunder." Little did I realize that this poem would be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy for me.

You see, I fell in love with a vampire. Yes, it's true.

Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer, is a book based on the love of a vampire by a teenage girl. It's not the typical Brom Stoker Dracula imagery that many times the word "vampire" conjures up in our over-active imaginations.

Edward, the vampire, is a person perpetually stuck at the age of 17 (you'll have to read the book to find out why). Edward is a perfect, yet flawed, individual. He is stunning physically, while he is tender, aloof and charismatic emotionally. (He knocks your socks off while making your knees buckle, but don't worry, he'll catch you in his strong arms.)

What are vampires, anyhow, but symbolism for gay men who repress their sexuality, but it only comes out more pronounced, as a result, it drives straight women wild?

That's who Edward is.

Poor Edward has spent most of the twentieth century looking for his "soulmate." He spends his time "looking" and "experimenting" with the idea of heterosexual love, but it is seemingly unsuccessful. It doesn't fulfill him. As a result, he has spent most of his "life" looking in the wrong place for that special person who will complete him.

Bella, the girl, is deeply in love with Edward. She has never seen anyone quite like him in her life, or her dreams. He makes her heart stop, while causing her body temperature to rise to a sexual crescendo that is brought to a screeching halt because he just can't seem to make it past first base, even though he really wants to make it (yeah, right!). I have to admit that he brought my heart to a stop on several occasions, simply by reading the book.

Her lust for him is haphazard, but real; however, I am not sure it can ever be returned to her in the way she wants or needs.

Although, he cares for her on a very deep level, his inability to satisfy her "human" needs is telling. He protects her and spends every waking hour with her. He is Bella's confidante, simply. (That sounds familiar.) He is the perfect man, in other words. (How many times have I heard that from the ladies? Oh, about a hundred times. Mostly straight women do not get the fact that gay men are their best friends, but they want that sexual element, also, which will rarely happen.)

Edward is a painful creature. He is everything I could ever want in a "mate." He is beautiful, attentive, courageous, sensual and a very good dresser. (Did I mention he's beautiful?) His aloof mannerisms are the fabric from which my very core is woven. There were parts where I had goose-flesh, because I saw myself in Bella's place (I enjoy living vicariously).

Last night, instead of being afraid of vampires, I wished secretly that one, like Edward, would come take me away. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the night. I have found a new understanding of the meaning of "twilight" time. It has a sexual connotation that is beyond the sins of the flesh. It is the place where Edward and his kind live perpetually.