Marriage Equality for the USA

Ah, yes! The sweet sound of diversity being embraced in the world's oldest democracy: America.

As a gay man, I am finally happy to say that I can marry the individual of my dreams without worrying about being judged unworthy by my government. I kept a list of the states that legalized marriage equality, but I have since torn it up, because it is now moot. Each state is legally bound to accept the marriage of a man to a woman, a man to a man, and a woman to a woman.

What does it mean to me?

A few weeks ago, I watched my brother marry the girl of his dreams in a full wedding that was sanctioned by the government of our state. I was teary eyed for multiple reasons. I never thought I could have the same experience in my home state. Instead, I envisioned a ceremony in a state or country I never had called home. Ironically, and true to form, my brother's marriage wasn't a religious ceremony. It had those tones, but it was civil in nature. They exchanged vows and rings, kissed, held hands, and faced the audience for the first time as husband and wife. There were no gold or rugged crosses or prayers for blessing. It was my their style.

What does it mean to religious individuals?

Nothing. I once heard an individual state that their church would have to change its by-laws to preclude same-sex marriages from being performed. Well, goodness gracious. The religious people get their panties in a wad about the whole affair when it doesn't apply to them. I wouldn't want to get married in their stuffy, hating church in the first place. They place too much premium on "outsiders" wanting what they have. If I want, I'll create my own church and call it the First Church of Same-Sex Love and we'll put in its by-laws that mixed-sex marriages may not be performed. And the person I was eavesdropping on is correct. There is nothing about marriage equality that demands or requires anyone to change their viewpoint of the issue. It is a First Amendment liberty! In short, no one is requiring all the heteros to become homos. Jeez! We don't want you at our party drinking our booze, anyhow.

What does it mean to the hypocrite?

The endless lectures on Facebook and in-person about the Biblical morality of it all. Come on, your argument holds no water. I don't care what Leviticus says. Basically, you may as well pull out Hans Christian Andersen and quote from his works. That's the same level of credence I give your religious arguments. Ironically, many of these sanctity of marriage arguments are being extolled by individuals who have been divorced! In fact, I may have lost a "friend" who argued for marriage's sanctity, considering I couldn't consolidate his argument with the fact that he had divorced his second wife. Where does God fit into that argument? No one wants to talk about that. Instead, he wanted to point out the principles of Christianity that he believed upheld his personal viewpoints. I'm sure he wouldn't have been as comfortable receiving a lecture on divorce and fornication. (Gosh, I may have to ask for an amen on that!)

Finally, I will fly my flag a little higher today with pride and acceptance of all who walk beneath it. It won't be a rainbow flag or Confederate flag. It will be the flag of the United States of America. It will represent the country that underscored the value of human dignity and ratified our nation through the words scrawled by James Madison, "We, the People..."

Gay Marriage, DOMA, & SCOTUS

If there will be a landmark opinion of the Supreme Court of the United States regarding same-sex marriage it certainly came when the court struck down key provisions of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). In addition, the Supreme Court vacated the order of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, regarding California's controversial Proposition 8, which now makes it legal to marry in California for same-sex couples.

Perhaps, this Supreme Court make-up works in some fashion. We saw liberal justices partnering with conservative justices, and vice-versa, to render these landmark decisions.

In other news, I heard some people say they were going to move to Canada over this.

Such a comment only shows individual ignorance, considering same-sex marriage is legal in Canada! Good luck with that!

Gates tells troops "don't ask, don't tell" is still in effect

Mr. Secretary, the last time I checked our country is not a military dictatorship. The Constitution gives Congress the power to make laws and the president the power to enforce them. It does not say anything about gaining the approval of the military before a law can be enacted.

No, I haven't read the law. Yes, there probably is a clause in the law that provides for the military (i.e., Pentagon) to phase in the changes over a period of time. The Secretary of Defense, however, is behaving as if he is the little dictator. I'm surprised he didn't shake his fists into the air during his news conference.

Get over yourself.

Jon Kyl is a bigot

After the Senate voted to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ) declared the repealing of the law would "cost lives."

I wonder exactly how being homosexual would cost heterosexuals their lives. Is that what he meant? He went further to qualify his comments by saying the discrimination found in "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was not characteristic of the racial integration of the armed forces over fifty years ago. His attitude was that all lawmakers were 100% behind racial integration of the armed forces.

Let's face it, there were lawmakers who felt that anything that brough the races together was a catastrophe waiting to happen. This is similiar to what Senator Kyl is expressing through is comments now. Senator, it is 2010, not 1960! I wonder if fifty years from now, someone will look back and wonder how anyone could say such comments about a group of people? You would never hear a lawmaker today say that the racial integration of yesteryear was a bad policy. The same will be said about allowing gays to serve openly in the United States military.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

With a vote by the United States Senate, which followed an earlier vote by the House, Congress has repealed another area of discrimination, which was the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy of the 1990s.

It now lacks only the President's signature to become a law.

Barack Obama: a homophobe?

Yesterday, the Pentagon issued orders allowing military recruiters to accept openly homosexual recruits for the first time in the history of the nation's armed forces. In a step backward, however, Barack Obama's administration applied for a stay from the same San Francisco federal court that declared "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" unconstitutional.

I find this completely unacceptable. The government should be working to enforce the court's ruling that lifted the stigma of hate and exclusion against the gay community. Instead, they cite that the ruling may compromise the armed services in some way.

That is bogus!

President Obama, you do not know your ass from a hole in the ground! Although, you are a Democrat, like me, I never supported your rise to power! Hillary would never have petitioned the court to reverse its ruling.

Don't ask, but feel free to tell

The Pentagon issued orders allowing recruiters of the armed forces to accept gay and lesbian enlistees. While the recruiter may not ask about candidates' sexual orientation, the candidate may declare if he or she is homosexual without being disqualified.

Wow! People can actually be honest about who they are and die for their country in the process!

Proposition 8 declared unconstitutional

California's ban on same-sex marriage was declared unconstitutional by a United States District Court.

Laws that deny equal rights to gays are certainly unconstitutional!

Iowa Court Backs Gay Rights

The Iowa Supreme Court overturned a 1998 state law that afforded marriage for only heterosexual couples. Like many other courts around the country, the state's supreme court stated that the law violated the constitutional rights of gay couples.

I fervently believe that the United States will eventually recognize the rights of all its citizens to engage freely in civil affairs, without undue invasion and impediment of the government.

Congressman Barney Frank calls Justice Antonin Scalia a homophobe

Johanna Sigurdardottir

Today, Iceland installed a new head of government. She happens to be openly gay, too. This goes a long way to show that everyone can be included in government!

Gay Marriage

Connecticut has become the third state to remove one of the final bastions of hatred and discrimination, which says that marriage is simply between a man and woman.

The supreme court of the state struck down a ban against gay marriage. It went further to say that civil unions are not equal to that of marriage.

Who's next?

Equality...one state at a time

Yesterday evening, California began the process of providing equal government services to all its citizens. Of course, I refer to the California Supreme Court's decision that incorporates homosexual couples into a mainstream staple of society, marriage.

Besides Massachusetts, California is the only state that protects full marital rights for homosexuals. It is, indeed, within the purview of state courts to provide equal protection to its citizens. Some states, like Kentucky, have enacted constitutional bans of homosexual rights. These bans, however, will not stand the scrutiny of federal courts. They impede upon the rights of a minority population, which is in stark violation of the United States Constitution. The Fourteenth Amendment clearly states: "No state shall...deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

By excluding homosexual individuals, and couples, from participating in a state sanctioned activity, to wit: marriage, then that state has denied equal protection of the law for those individuals. That is exactly why state courts in Massachusetts and California have paved the way for the inclusion of marriage for all individuals. They are simply ensuring all people have equal access to the law.

Gay Hate Crime Bill

Congress has decided to abandon a bill that would make crimes based solely on sexual orientation a hate crime.

Democratic members decided that since the bill had a major spending provision for Iraq that they could no longer support it.

The thing is that in a few of weeks (or months) George W. Bush will send the Iraq appropriation bill back to the Congress, put on a pony and dog show, strong-arm congressional members, and get it to pass.

So what is the point of delaying it now? They will merely capitulate later, after they claim they have no choice in the matter (even though the legislative branch is independent of the president).

Gay Students

I had several students inform me that two students at my school are gay.

It is none of their business--nor mine--but I had kind of figured that one out on my own. But what brought it into the consciousnesses of the other students is the fact they are now "going out." I think it is kind of funny, in a good way, of course, since everyone at my school is very much conservative when it comes to that subject. They are brave souls for being able to express their feelings openly. It is a feat I have yet to truly master.

Being the ever-watchful teacher, I have decided to make it my mission to make sure they don't get harassed as much as I possibly can. I have already put several people in their places over the situation. It is surprising to note that many students are supportive of their relationship. (I wish I had known that way back when.)

D & Me

So, I just had a very weird conversation with my mother about boys.

After my fitful experience a couple of weekends ago, I discovered a new guy, named Dwight.

He is the sweetest thing I have known in a long time. Yes, he is as young as a summertime wine, but he is more mature than me in many ways. (In other words, age is overrated, even if I do like them while they can still locate their high school diplomas.)

Now, back to mother.

Mom asked me, "Do you like boys?"

With my mouth agape, I said, "Why do you ask that?"

"Well, I saw you and that new guy at a shop." (FYI: I didn't see mom there, so I was oblivious.)

I stalled, "So?"

"Usually having your hand on a guy's butt means that you're more than poker buddies."

I almost fainted, but I kept my chin held high, almost certain of the wrath that was about to ensue; however, I was surprised.

"He's the prettiest boy I've seen you with," she went on. "He seems to be a very nice guy."

I am still stunned by this most awkward mom-son conversation!

She is inclined to have him over for Thanksgiving dinner. (YIKES!)

Same sex marriage legal in Iowa, for a while

Yesterday, a judge in Iowa found that the state's Defense of Marriage Act (1998), violated the constitutional rights of six gay couples who stated the law violated their rights to due process and equal protection.

Later today, the same judged issued a stay to his original ruling, in order to allow the supreme court of Iowa to rule on the case, after an official request from the Polk County (Iowa) County Attorney.

Before this happened, though, ten homosexual couples had applied for a license, with several of them being officially and legally married.

Gay Unions During the Middle Ages

I found a very interesting article about gay unions during the growing oppression of the Roman Catholic Church, in Europe.

It would seem that men were allowed to enter into "brotherments" (affrèrement) with other men, with whom they weren't related to. Of course, it is impossible to know if this was the case or not. But many of the agreements seem to imply that both individuals agreed to share all aspects of their lives.

It sounds like a union to me!

Gay Marriage Amendment Blocked in Massachusetts

In a blow to anti-gay activists, the Massachusetts legislature blocked an amendment to the state's constitution.

In order to get the amendment on the ballot, it required at least fifty lawmakers to approve it, but it only received forty-five votes. In the final assessment, 151 lawmakers opposed placing the amendment on the ballot.

This action shows that the state of Massachusetts is committed to equal rights for all of its citizens. I say good for them! We can only hope that their efforts and strength will be a beacon for other states to follow.

Gay

Most of the time, I write about things that relate to politics and general public events, and seldom about myself or my family, but I found a recent event noteworthy.

Scandal is something that causes people to start whispering in the dark about you, and you know something is afoot when you see them shut up when you enter a room, or someone else walks in that knows another person.

It would seem a mini-scandal has hit the family. My uncle, who is not the most reliable of independent sources, informed my father yesterday that my cousin "came out of the closet" to the detriment of his mother and father. Then, my mother informed me of this news. Gossip, is what I call it.

If he is gay, then so what. It is like getting the news that the sun rose this morning. I already knew it. I have known this little fact about my cousin since we were small boys. I believe he might know the same about me, too. We spent a lot of time together as boys, and it is something that a person can't hide. In a way we had a special connection because of it.

After all, I am gay too. But I don't discuss it with my uncle, nor my mom and dad. It's none of their business.

I have been gay for all of my life. As far as I can remember, I have been attracted to other guys. In school, like the girls, I thought about which boys were cute and which boys I would like to have as my boyfriend. Hell, I even had a list. I bought them drinks and snacks at break time. I doubt, though, they understood why I did it. But I was a devious and horny six-year-old. Unfortunately, I hated myself for a long time because of it, when I was in high school and my first few years in college.

I would stare up at the ceiling, while in bed at night, and try to have fantasies about girls. I found that it made me disgusted and it was a futile attempt. But I wanted to be like all the other boys. After all, being homosexual was deviant.

In college, I found out that being gay is not deviant, wrong, or illegal. I finally found myself. I can love myself and have relationships with other guys at the same time.

To me, it is better to love yourself, than hate yourself so other people can love you. In the end, everyone comes around and it becomes old news, like the sun rising and setting daily.