Birth Order

I read a very interesting article on birth order of siblings recently.

I had always heard of the "Jan Brady" syndrome, which is also called the middle child syndrome, but I hadn't given it much thought, however.

I am the oldest of three children (all boys). I found much of the information to be relevant to my own personal experience, as the oldest child, and that of my younger brothers. It is interesting to note that many oldest children relate best to adults, since they received a large amount of attention from their parents, before their sibling(s) arrived on the scene.

For example, when I was much younger, I had a friend over; instead of entertaining him, I found myself entertaining my mother and his mother. I was engaged in a rather grown-up conversation. In fact, my friend was somewhere else playing--alone. My mother had to save him by saying to me: "Shouldn't you be playing with your friend?"

This is only one example of many illustrating how well I related to adults, as a youngster. It's just that I never thought that it could have been conditioned by my birth order. As a child, I found children, especially those around my age and younger, to be tedious and misinformed. My seeming advanced knowledge and desire for intellectual stimulation could only be quenched through interaction with adults and children much older than me.

My younger cousins hated to come to my house, because I made them do "homework," in hopes of making them more intelligent. One of my aunts commented that she knew when her son came to my house he would go back home knowing more than when he went. (I even had textbooks and lesson plans.)

Of course, this could be linked to my career in the illustrious, fast-paced world of education.

My middle brother, who is about four years younger than me, is the stereotypical middle child (but also like the youngest born child, in many ways, as well). He has a rather carefree lifestyle, which means he has never had a job or done anything before noon in his adult life. In fact, he barely completed high school. (My parents were quite coercive with his teachers.) He craves the limelight, in as much as he can get attention, from my parents. His recent background has been, at times, criminal. Sometimes his only hope of getting Mom and Dad's attention is to give them a call from jail. It's almost as if he is trying to make up for his time as a child. (Perhaps, he missed something in those years.)

My baby brother, who is almost twelve years my junior, is the epitome of the last born. Although, he is very much like me, he is a spoiled brat in every sense of the meaning. My parents have never used the word "no" with him--ever! He gets everything he asks for, and more. In fact, he is quite the diva. He also tells me what to do, and how to do it. Like the other night, I had to drive him to a friend's house. It just happens that his friend lives a long way from my parents' home. I had to drive for over an hour--one way. At first, I refused his request. He resorted to screaming at me to get his way, but I didn't budge an inch. I was firm. He resorted to what any spoiled sixteen-year-old boy would do, he started to cry as he ran out of the house, in a rather well-rehearsed performance. Apparently, "life is not fair," he confided, as I tried to calm him down. Being the dutiful big brother (and knowing the extent of how well he can hold a grudge), I drove him to his friend's house.