Baby Name Angst

I read an article dealing with parents who suffer "remorse" after naming their child.

Speaking from personal experience with this subject (not as a parent, but as a teacher), I deal with many, many students who have the most grandiose and silly names. Basically, I privately ask myself, "What were they drinking when they named little so-and-so?"

Of course, it sometimes comes down a singular fact that parents want to be different or simply give their child a unique identity. I can respect that, but when the name is so overstated it causes the child nothing but heartache and ridicule by their peers it has gone beyond the cute stage.

That's another thing: parents want to give their child a cute name. The problem with that is they don't realize their child must live with this cute name for the rest of his/her life. A name that is adorable and sweet at six months may not be as such when you're forty and wondering why your name is "Bitsy Mae."

It's not ironic to find that some parents actually want to change their child's name after the birth certificate has been stamped, the court clerks have filed it away for safe keeping, and the social security card has been printed. Some parents are opting to go through the legal system to get a name change. One set of parents opted to change their daughter's name from "Emma" to "Caroline," because they found it "felt strange" when they said it. (That is a bit extreme, I think.) Ironically, Caroline, who found out her name used to be Emma, now prefers to be called Emma. There will be another petition before the court in the near future, perhaps.

Another set of parents opted to rename their four year old daughter, named Sophie, Isadora. Again it came down to a single fact, which was there were too many children her age named Sophie. (I think I'd prefer to remain named Sophie.)

Although there are some rather bizarrely named children floating among us, we mustn't forget that this is their identity. It is how they announce themselves to the world. It is a bit superficial and arrogant to presume to change that identity, especially after years have gone by. If there is a need for a name change--your life is in danger--then by all means go for it. Sometimes I wish that my parents had named me differently (and for a while I privately called myself by another name), but I resigned myself to my identity. After thinking it through, it's not so bad.

The moral of this story is simple. If you're an expectant parent think about the name you will give your child. Ask yourself one simple question, "Would I like to live the next eighty years with this name?" That's all!