I got mauled tonight!

No, it wasn't some wild beast from deep inside the forest. It wasn't some deranged animal with the first signs of rabies. It was my cat.

Even though, she is declawed (the front claws), she is still a formidable opponent. She got outside so I decided to be the "man" and go out and bring her back into the fold--the straight and narrow, you know. Of course, she had other plans for me.

I had to entice her from her hiding place with her bag of kitty food. That worked; boy did it work! So when her back was turned, I reached down and grabbed her up into my arms. I was so proud of myself. I started walking back toward the house, when she suddenly rebels and uses her back claws to shred my forearms. In less than a second, she inflicted five superficial cuts to my right forearm, and then one deeper cut to my left forearm. Sufficed to say, mom says another mm and it would require stitches. And to beat it all, the damn cat got away again!

I haven't seen her since. I've been too busy licking my wounds to care! I just hope this shit doesn't scar. I'm very much allergic to pain and my forearms looked (notice past tense) good.

Fuck it...that's what Mederma is for, right? Too bad there's none in this house!