Hostel is hostile to my patience

Alright, I just watched the movie Hostel and it is about 1.75 hours of my life I wish I had back. I read the reviews and many people said it was a thriller unlike any other in the past 20 years. So of course, that got my attention and I was excited to finally see it. But for what it's worth, I'll rate it up there with those Jason and Freddy Kruger movies from the 80s which were really, really sad.

I suppose I am more into psychological thrillers, like SAW and SAW II. Now those are some freakishly good movies. Hostel never came close to the the Saw duo, however. The whole movie was based on these three guys who wanted to get some "pussy" across Europe, so of course they end up in Bratislav, Slovakia. The first 45 minutes is a three man frat party, plain and simple. These "college" guys bang every girl they meet, except for the one who is a closet homosexual (that's how I interpreted his actions, poor thing being forced to think about vaginas and breasts).

The only thing that kept me to the end was the character Paxton. If he hadn't been cute, I would have stopped it way before the end. :) The conclusion, however, was hurried and predictable. (Just like my review of it.)

The parts where the people are being tortured in this dungeon of "pain and fear" are very cheesy, at best. The lights are off most of the time and all you can hear are the screams of people in the theater wanting their money back! You only catch a short glimpse of someone puking, losing an eye or finger throughout the whole film. And honestly, those parts weren't even remotely scary. (Am I demented? Perhaps.)

If you enjoy psychological thrillers, this one is definitely not going to make you smile or feel that sensation of your skin crawling at the end. It doesn't even leave you thinking, "Wow! What if...?" The plot is not even feasible, honestly. I don't think even in Slovakia you could run this "Elite Hunters" club. The movie is an insult to anyone from eastern Europe. From the underlying theme of the movie, it would seem the police in eastern Europe are so corrupt and immoral they allow big wigs from around the world to spend their "dollars" and "Euros" to kill people so openly for pleasure. It's preposterous!

Hostel, puhlease!