Poor Jim

Senator Jim Bunning (R-KY) is coming to the end of his political career. He was too afraid to run for another term, because he knows he is finished. He decided to show the average American that life really is "tough shit."

As the lone senator, he decided to hold up the unemployment insurance benefits (along with other things), which will cease at the end of today, by objecting repeatedly to its adoption on Friday. The United States Senate will take up the issue again this coming week. It is surely to pass once it is put to a vote.

It is shameful that this occurred. It is even more shameful that he had to represent Kentucky.

Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods held a well-constructed, well-planned media circus today. He is very sorry for what he did to the world of golf, his fans, and his family.

Let me break it down for you. He is really saying he is sorry he crashed his Cadillac Escalade that night and the world finally found out about his extra-marital affairs.

He's going back to therapy now (for his sex addiction?). Why is it that celebrities can simply go to therapy/rehab to get off the hook for their actions?

It is bizarre to me! (And more than ridiculous.)

Robotic Surgery

For as long as I can remember, I have been mesmerized by the human body and its inner-workings. That is why I like to watch health education shows; especially, those that show real-life surgical procedures.

Gruesome? Maybe, but it makes me happy on a cloudy day.

Recently, I have stumbled on a new and growing technology that is going to revolutionize the way we experience surgery. This device is called the da Vinci Surgical System (created by Intuitive Surgical). It is a robotic system that allows for very small incisions, in order to perform very delicate procedures.

In the area of cardiothoracic surgery, the benefits are infinite. The sternum of a patient is cut open and the rib cage is forced apart, during a traditional heart operation. The use of the da Vinci robot requires only a low number of very small incisions, which allow access through the ribs' natural spaces and below and beneath the rib cage. This allows the surgeon to operate the robot in a very tight space, without opening the chest. This minimally invasive procedure also has another added benefit; it doesn't require the heart to be stopped and the patient placed on a heart-lung by-pass machine. Many patients are able to resume normal activities within 1 to 2 weeks; whereas, patients who undergo traditional thoracic procedures require 1 to 2 months to recover!

I am glad to live in an age when medicine is growing by leaps. Perhaps, the actual act of surgery no longer has to be as debilitating to individuals as the disease it treats. The idea of heart surgery has always been fearful to me. I hope that I never require it, but if I do, I feel better knowing that there are more options available to me than being semi-butchered on the operating table to save my life!

Sexual Ideation

I made my annual trip to visit my eye doctor, recently. I found out that the astigmatism in my right eye is getting worse (thanks aging!), and my left eye is staying pretty much the same.

There is something to be said, too, about the exam. I hadn't really thought about it before, but the process of an eye exam is quite up-close and personal. The doctor is your face for most of the exam, asking questions like, "Which is better? 1 or 2? 3 or 4?" Then there is that bright light they shine in your eyes, in order to see the retina at the back of the eye.

I suppose I am chronically in need of a relationship. During the exam, my doctor was right up against both sides of my head. The whole time I was thinking, "Oh my God! How long has it been since another human being has dared to get this close to me?" She was also talking to me during the exam and she was practically in my ear.

OH MY GOD!

I feel like such a dog, but I suppose that is a symptom of my chronic loneliness. Just to clear a few things up, I wasn't sexually aroused by it, it simply put the ideas into my head (or was I?).

Hell!

Oh Lord, Sarah Palin

What does it take for former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, to give a speech to a Constitutional Democracy-hatin' Tea Party?

Notes written on the palm of her hand, duh! I couldn't believe it when I saw it. Usually, a piece of paper--or TelePrompTer--with some remarks will suffice, but not for Palin. She has to temporarily tattoo it to her body.

You betcha, Gaylord!

Clinton Bush Haiti Fund

The disaster in Haiti is slowly leaving the public's view, as the days and weeks accumulate. But I am left with a nagging question.

Barack Obama enlisted former presidents, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, to head a disaster relief fund, called Clinton Bush Haiti Fund. Since its announcement, at a White House press conference, I haven't seen George W. Bush anywhere near the organization, besides being at the White House and in a television commercial asking for the generosity of Americans.

News coverage hinges around President Clinton's frequent trips to the devastated island country. Each time American cameras are on in Port-au-Prince, it is only Clinton who debarks from the plane.

Where is Dubya? He is MIA...just like during his Vietnam service!

Senator-Elect Scott Brown (R-MA)

The United States is currently in-session and on its calendar is the swearing in of the body's 41st Republican member, Scott Brown of Massachusetts, which should take place momentarily.

Government Waste

I had heard that our money isn't worth as much as it used to be. Today, it really hit home how true that statement is.

According to government estimates the United States Treasury loses approximately $150,000,000 a year by minting pennies and nickles! Why? The metal in those coins is worth more than the face value of the coin.

It costs 1.8-cents to mint a penny and 9-cents to mint a nickel! That is outrageous. In an effort to curb this obscenity, the government is permitting the mints across the United States to use other metals in the fabrication of these coins, which will bring the cost of minting each respective coin to its actual face value.

In other words, the government has been flushing our tax money down the toilet. But, what else is new?

Obama, Massachusetts & the One Term Presidency

In a seemingly impossibility, Massachusetts elected a conservative Republican as its next United States Senator, Scott Brown. What is even more shocking is that it is the same seat held by long time Senator Ted Kennedy, who was a member of the Kennedy dynasty of American leaders. 

If you had told me the outcome of this election a month ago I would never have believed it! Massachusetts, or so I believed, is the bastion of liberal politics. It was as if all the progressive ideas and policies of our great land were born and nurtured first in this state's womb (sick analogy, I know). 

President Barack Obama visited the Commonwealth of Massachusetts to campaign for the Democratic candidate Martha Coakley before last week's special election, but was unable to sway the state's electorate that she was the right individual for the job. What does that say for Obama's presidency?

Barack Obama made the pledge to close Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, by January 20, 2010, but that date has come and gone and the illegal W. Bush-era prison is still going strong. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan also seem to be without end. Those are three BIG promises made by the administration during campaign times. If I had been president, I would have ensured at least one of my goals had been accomplished by now!

My friends, including you, get tired of me harping about Hillary Clinton. But let's face it, Hillary Clinton was railroaded out of the presidency. Instead of a lion in the White House, we have a lamb. We have the former junior senator from Illinois, who gave the keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention (which is his only claim to national fame), as president! I said it many times during the 2008 presidential election, and it bears repeating, but America did not need a president who had to be trained on the job. That is exactly what we have with Barack Obama. Americans are starting to see through his thin veneer of simpleton ideas and promises. 

 Now we are doomed to have a Republican become president in 2012, as I do not see Obama being re-elected for a second term. He is simply too timid for the job of president. Perhaps, the Republican Party will nominate the hot new senator from Massachusetts to represent it in the upcoming presidential election. It would fall into the mainstream of what happened in 2008, when Barack Obama was nominated by the Democratic Party for president. 

I'm thinking Hillary Clinton will be only 69 years young in November 2016!

Massachusetts

The voters of Massachusetts are going to the polls on Tuesday, January 19 to elect a senator to replace the late Senator Ted Kennedy (D). The race between the two contenders, Martha Coakley (D) and Scott Brown (R), are coming down to the wire.

In a state that is traditionally hardcore Democrat, the two candidates are running neck to neck in a state where Ted Kennedy had ruled supreme since being first elected in 1962. For crying out loud, the current senior United States senator for the state, John Kerry, is a Democrat and the  2004 Democratic presidential candidate! 

Democrats must maintain Massachusetts' seat in the Senate or they will lose their super majority of sixty votes, which is crucial when it comes to voting on important national issues such as healthcare reform. 

I find it hard to believe that Massachusetts will vote for a Republican to represent them in Congress, but who knows. President Barack Obama is heading to the state on Sunday to campaign for Coakley, who is the current Attorney General for the state. It remains to be seen, however, if Obama has what it takes to get a fellow Democrat elected.

Haiti

 (President) Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is off to Haiti tomorrow to assess the situation there firsthand. It has been more than three days since a 7.0 earthquake devastated the national capital of Haiti, Port-au-Prince.

Financial aid, rescue personnel, and heavy equipment, from all over the world, is slowly trickling into Haiti. Much of the country's primitive infrastructure has been destroyed as a consequence of the earthquake. The main airport is congested and is currently being operated by the United States. Ships carrying aid and personnel cannot be offloaded, because the docks are in shambles in conjunction with bays full of dangerous debris. Helicopters will be used to transport personnel and supplies to the island nation. 

Medical resources and personnel are in dire supply. The Haitian government has waived licensing requirement for physicians arriving from the United States (and probably other countries as well), which means they can go straight work without any red-tape.

Already the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, this will certainly work against Haiti's future. The people of this small country have been wrought with social and nature calamities since its inception as a Spanish colony in the 15th century. 

John McCain, Welcome to America!

United States Senator John McCain (AZ), who we all know is a Republican, blah, blah, thinks President Obama made a mistake by not classifying Santa bomber, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, as a military combatant, so he would be tried in a military court, instead of a civil court.

With all due respect, Senator, but isn't that whole point of terrorism? I mean, isn't it the very notion that terrorists want to destroy American institutions by instilling fear into our minds and causing us to throw off our day-to-day lives to conform to them? If we put Abdulmutallab on trial before a military tribunal for an act that occurred on American soil, then the terrorists are defying American justice, and we are complacent. 

The Constitution applies here, Senator McCain.

I sincerely hope that the terrorists--whomever they are--see that in America we live by a set of equitable laws and a solid code of justice that cannot be defied by their bombs, kamikaze-wanna-bes, or rhetoric. If you commit a crime in the United States, then you will be tried in an American civil court of justice, protected by liberties guaranteed by our nation's constitution, defended by an attorney, set before a jury of peers. If appropriate, the guilty will be punished according to our laws.

The Constitution cannot simply be railroaded when you feel compelled, Senator McCain. This is not Nazi Germany. And the age of George W. Bush is in the past. We do not have secret courts, where civil rights and liberties can be ignored, when a few desire it. From the lowest to the highest criminal, each stands before the same framework of justice. 

That is our America!

Dear President Obama

If I had been elected president of the United States in 2008, I would have done things a lot differently. As presidents go, Barack Obama had a staggering cult following and phenomenal ratings in the polls. How else could he have defeated Hillary Clinton? But, now, I digress.

January 20, 2009, is a day that will go into the history books. American voters threw off the yoke of racial divides and set forth a political revolution, of sorts, in national government. We elected a man that wasn't quite as pale as the ones who came before him. Obama will be remembered for that, surely. 

But I want to remember the promises that got him elected in the first place. Democrats put all of their eggs into a very limited basket. They were going up against a Republican machine that was limping and running out of steam. Democrats had the upper-hand and they won the United States Congress and the presidency. It was truly a remarkable election that opened the doors to true social progress.

The war in Iraq and the war in Afghanistan were, and are, unpopular. George W. Bush left an enormous mess for the Obama administration to clean up. But has Obama done that? In a word: no. As a result. Democrats are starting to suffer in the polls. The 2010 election is less than a year away and Democrats in the House and Senate are feeling the effects of promises unfilled. It's not just the wars, though. Obama promised to work with the Congress to get Americans a healthcare system that they deserved. Healthcare is a civil right, after all. It is now January 2010 and Congress is meandering toward a watered down version of the promised reform, even though they hold a stark majority in Congress.

Weird.

January 20, 2009, would have been a much different day had I  been president, for sure. After being sworn in and delivering my inauguration speech to the world, I would have high-tailed it from the steps of the Capitol to the Rotunda where I would have signed two Executive Orders. 

The first order would have required all American military involvement in Iraq to cease on July 20, 2010. The order would have further stipulated that American forces currently in the country would be withdrawn in equal three six month phases. The second order would have required all American military involvement in Afghanistan to cease by January 20, 2011. As in Iraq, American forces would be withdrawn in an equal four six month phases. With my plan, the war in Iraq would be over and the war in Afghanistan would be three-fourths over before the 2010 mid-term election, which would ease the minds of American voters and demonstrate to them that, yes, wars can be ended in an orderly and responsible way. People say, "That can't be done." Yes, it can. I just made it happen. 

Also, in the afternoon of January 20, 2009, my administration would have presented to Congress a healthcare bill providing each and every American with access to appropriate healthcare. Would I have expected it to pass on the same day? Of course, not! But the whole idea needed to be in the minds of Americans from day one. In my administration, there would have been no time for late night parties. Parties are for when the job is done.  

I would have been on Capitol Hill frequently to see how progress was going on my healthcare bill. There would be no need for phone calls, I'd be there. Strong-arm tactics often work and are necessary when you believe in something deeply. As a teacher, I have a fool-proof method of getting something done. When all other options of compromise and cajoling have failed I reach deep into myself and let loose a psychopath. Between a yell and a hushed voice, and two inches from their face, I start saying over-and-over, "Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!," while looking in their startled eyes and pounding my index finger onto the table. I love the look on the person's face as I do it. It is complete and utter fear and confusion. In their mind they are thinking, "This guy is completely nuts, I better do what he says or who knows what terrible things are going to happen!" I have a 100% success rate using that method. I would be happy to use that same method in the office of a senator or congressman/woman. There is no shame in winning.

I realize there are many, many other issues that cannot be solved in a single term as president, including the economic meltdown. But the whole point of being president is consistently running for office. After all, the next general election is less than four years away when you take the oath of office as president.

My Mother: Facebook Stalker

My mother, who has recently become one of Facebook's newest users, is using the social networking site not only to keep up with family and friends, but also as a way to stalk people. 

Mother has made friends with people who she hasn't talked to in years. Isn't that one of the great benefits of Facebook? Yes, it is, but not simply to go through a person's online life to find things to gossip about with other family. I try to tell her that Facebook is a way to reconnect with people in a more direct way, rather than becoming an online voyeur. 

But that is just my mother, a Facebook stalker!

Happy New Years 2010

Before I get all liquored up on two bottles of champagne and multiple gin & tonics, I want to wish everyone a happy and drunk 2010!

God, it doesn't seem that long ago we were celebrating Y2K by waiting for planes to fall out of sky, nuclear missiles to lift-off, and the world to end. 

Gosh! Times certainly have changed. 

University of the Cumberlands

As I sit here getting my pre-New Year's celebration going with a very nice bottle of champagne, I am reminded of why I hardly ever go to my undergraduate alma mater, which is now called the University of the Cumberlands (formerly known as Cumberland College).

Although it is a Southern Baptist institution by association, I couldn't help but notice that the campus has "churched" itself up tremendously since I enrolled there over a decade ago. Church was an important part of the college's activities, but it was not so loudly broadcasted throughout the campus. Now, there are giant Moses-esque tombstone-like plaques reminding students of the infamous "Ten Commandments." 

I suppose this occurred after they expelled the poor gay boy for being, well, gay! Ironically, because of that silly business, the school lost its state funding for a pharmacy school. It was more than fitting justice that a Republican governor of Kentucky had to side with the liberals on the fact that taxpayers' dollars could not be used to fund an institution that discriminates against anyone. Amen!

I also noticed the "First Family" of the college is growing in power and influence. Before, there was simply the James H. Taylor II Stadium, which is named in honor of the president's eighteen year old son who was killed in an automobile accident in 1991. There is some scandal surrounding his death. The official report says that he was driving on a wet road and ran through a pole as his car left the roadway. The unofficial report says that he was liquored up while driving on a wet road and ran through a pole as his car left the roadway. (See how few details make an account make even more sense?) Either way, he is memorialized with a college building named in his honor. 

Today, while I was passing through, I couldn't help but notice that part of the O. Wayne Rollins Center has been renamed in honor of the president's wife. Part of the Rollins Center is now called the Dinah Taylor Aquatics Center. I'm sure the now dead millionaire, who donated the money to have the athletics complex built, doesn't mind sharing his glory with the First Lady of the University of the Cumberlands. (I thought naming buildings came from generously sharing your wealth with a school, not sleeping with its president.) 

Moving on...

Most of all I was disappointed to see the bust of one of the college's presidents, J.M. Boswell, moved to a new location on campus. Before, he sat on a major thoroughfare of student foot traffic, where he was often the subject of late night pranks, such as wearing a pink bra with red lipstick and being dressed up for a Hawaiian luau. He is now in a less traveled part of campus. It appears as if they have filled up the water fountain, which was occasionally filled with dish soap, with dirt. Boswell's bust now sits in the middle of the landscaping of the former water fountain.

As with all things, time has a way of changing landscapes and ideas. On a lighter note, I noticed that my old campus mailbox has the same combination. Oops! I will remember that number until the day I die. I may be ravaged by the effects of dementia and Alzheimer's, in the future, but I will remember the combination to my mailbox! Oh, those were the days.

Double Standard

Something unusual happened today. I was at the Post Office, more appropriately I was in the parking lot. Before I got out of my car, I noticed a student that I had had before in class. I decided to wait in the car until she came out to avoid an uncomfortable meet-and-greet. As this student was exiting the Post Office, a car pulled up next to mine. Through a sheer act of serendipity, the person who got out of the car was one of my elementary school teachers!

In that second, three generations of education were converging into a single point. I did exactly what I didn't want my student to do. I rolled down my window and started hollering at my former teacher. It didn't seem hypocritical to me. I wanted to speak to someone I hadn't seen or heard from in ages. I wanted her to know that I was still out there and remembered her. Most of all, I wanted to thank her dedication and wish her well.

Upon reflection, perhaps that is all any of my former students want from me when they see me out in public. I was excited to see someone with whom I had spent nine months of my life. In the future, I will be more sensitive to that need from my students. The only problem with that is I can never remember their names. I can remember faces, but seldom can I remember their names. I'm not sure if my teacher remembered me or not. That was not the point, right?

Fred Flintstone gets an "erocktion"

This excerpt from Family Guy was too funny not to share. It makes me laugh out loud each time I see it!

Terror in Detroit

What's going on in Schiphol? 

A U.S. bound plane from Amsterdam to Detroit is the focus of an attempted terrorist's act. If it hadn't been for the quick action of some passengers the scenario may have played out quite differently. 

To answer my own question, though, why would a world class facility, such as Amsterdam Airport Schiphol, allow someone with an incendiary device through its security? Let me paint a picture for you using a personal experience.

While returning home from one of my trips to Paris, I encountered a lapse in security at Charles de Gaulle International Airport. Now, you'd imagine that Charles de Gaulle, or as the French call it, Roissy, being one of the top airports in Europe, would have impeccable security. Well, it does, if you use it consistently. 

I was boarding a trans-Atlantic flight from Paris to Cincinnati. International airports serving airports in the U.S. are required by the TSA to conduct the same security protocols as implemented in the United States for domestic and international flights.  In the United States, they do everything but Roto-Rooter your ass (and even then some people get that privilege). 

But back to Roissy. 

As we approached the metal detectors, a sign clearly stated--in French and English--we had to remove our shoes and place them in a plastic bin for extra screening; however, most people were not removing their shoes. Security officers simply allowed those people who had kept their shoes on to pass quietly through security, my party included! (Let's face it, taking your shoes off in public is not a very appealing thing to do.)

Am I saying that x-raying our shoes would have stopped a terrorist attack? No. But I am saying that basic security protocols were not enforced; therefore, who can say if all the basic security protocols in Schiphol were enforced? Europe is a lot less anal about these sorts of things. They think Americans have a stick up their ass for being so hard-nosed about invading people's privacy.

Come to think of it, they might be right!

How to unfriend during the holidays

The top word of 2009 was "unfriend." It is something that you do on social networking websites, such as Facebook, which I use religiously (pardon the pun). It is when you dump a friend from your network of friends.

I have never unfriended someone before. Well, not until last night, at least. It was in the spirit of the holidays that I set this lone, confused parasite of a person free. You see, she is what I call a hypocritical bigot. I can tolerate many things from my friends, such as ignorance, stupidity, cluelessness, shamelessness, hot-headedness, even incest, but never bigotry!

First, it started with insulting my love of Halloween. Apparently, for some people, it is a time to use Christian fanaticism to crush other people's spirit of fun and laughter, because, let's face it, with an attitude like that, they aren't having any fun at home. Then it progressed into the materialism of Thanksgiving. Blah, blah! (It's pretty bad when you can find fault with Puritans. What a prude!)

The final straw was last night, when she said teaching kids about Santa, which by the way is an anagram for SATAN, is telling your children it is okay to lie. Obviously, if someone asks your kids, "What is Santa bringing you this year for Christmas?" They might as well have cocked a gun against the kid's head and said, "Give me all of your candy canes." 

It's preposterous! 

After last night's unsolicited anecdote, I decided it was time to unfriend this person. To set her free, if you will. I certainly could not listen to her harping on drunkenness in the New Year. My gin-soaked heart really would be broken!

So, Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa!  And Happy Boxing Day, too! Onward, Eid-al-Fitr, and any other Muslim high holy day I may have forgotten. This is to you, the intolerant, the bigoted stew of America's undercurrent of hate and hypocrisy. 

Happy Holidays! (Yes, I do say that, too.) And FYI: when I see your Friend Request on my Facebook page again, I have a new friend, his name is IGNORE.