Hugs and Sexual Harassment

A 17-year-old Georgia high school student was suspended from school over a hug he gave to his teacher. Depending on who you ask, you get different versions about whether it was consensual with butterfly kisses, sexual, or just plain innocent.

As a teacher, I have a very strong view on this issue.

I teach adolescents who are learning about their bodies and its new capabilities. That's just nature. I can't control that beast. My steadfast rule is that you don't touch me and I don't touch you.

Certainly, I would never tolerate a student giving me a "hug" from behind or a "clingy" hug. There are exceptions, of course, to every steadfast rule. I have been known to allow a student a side-hug, in the view of another teacher, if the situation allows it and they initiate it. Let's face it, if it were the other way around, the mobs would be out in full force to put that teacher on a rail and run her out of town.

At 17, I would fully expect that a student would be able to control himself, even if he is from a family that "hugs." Not everyone is from that sort of family and, unfortunately, hugs can quickly escalate into something much more sinister, whether it is overt or covert. There is nothing like a good scandal to get the tongues a-waggin'!

I also teach my students that "no" means no. If someone tells you to stop doing something, whether it is physical or verbal, and they continue that behavior then it is undeniably harassment (shades thereof are open to context). Tried and true, as I like to say.

If a student gives you a hug, and you feel uncomfortable, then I believe a teacher (or anyone) is fully within his/her rights to say "no." It is something that students are not used to hearing. They perceive it as not applying to them, because they are only capable of seeing to the tip of their nose.

The bottom-line is that I don't want to become the main story on CNN's website!